How it is like to be the Sister of the Groom

By Christina Kim - May 25, 2016


There is usually more focus on the bride, obviously in a wedding, since she is the highlight of the day and the sole reason for the whole event anyway (I really didn't think that required an explanation).

The groom is just as important of course, though if you were to put the importance on a comparison scale, again, you don't need further justification.

Everyone wants to see the blushing bride; the center of all attention (yes, even thunder stealers would not be able to compare to the Queen of the Day) and it just goes without saying that anyone related or even listed as part of the bride's side/entourage would garner just as much attention.

That right is all the bride's, no arguments allowed.

The groom, of course, is just as dashing on the day and also receiving that same amount of attention (though as mentioned, may still pale a little -sorry grooms, it's a fact!) but is still the most important (and second) highlight next to the bride.
He is that dashing man who will be with the bride most of the time anyway, with the bride's hand right there on his arm.
Definitely the star, just as much as the bride.

There is little left to wonder why the bride and groom are often hailed as the King and Queen of the Day.
(Well, yes, just for their wedding day, of course).

While the bride may command slightly a little more attention, this does not mean that the groom is less important.
Neither are the people from the groom's side, definitely.

After all, anyone in the bride or groom's family are playing their roles as the host families which throws them into that part of the spotlight, just a little.

The parents will definitely take the second place right after the bride and groom, along with the bridal party.

Now, how about the siblings?

We are still kind of important, I would say, though definitely slightly lower in the list.
Of course, we are still featured as part of the hosts in the event and the bride and groom (being our siblings) will definitely prioritize us as well, but we are definitely not in any way, the main characters in the show.

We are not complaining.
It is the big day for our own siblings, why would we want anything else but full attention on them?
Besides, when they are enjoying that privilege of one of the most important days of their lives and our parents are just as highlighted, that leaves us, the siblings to help to run the other part of the show.

Which is just, doing everything else we can to make sure that the stars have nothing to worry about and enjoy a stress-free day.

That is all it is about being the sibling to the bride, or the groom.

I was the sister of the groom, when my brother got married recently (read the posts on wedding here, and my thoughts here).
Well, the only time I will be one, since I only have this one sibling.

A proud one, if I may add too.

It was indeed a joyful day, as all weddings are and there is just no words to describe that joy and pride when it comes to watching your own (and only one) sibling find his true love and happiness.

I was excited to witness this exchange of love promise between the two of them; and they have been people whom I have regarded and included in my own life.
It is needless to say that about my brother, but even my sister-in-law has been someone I have known ever since they started their journey together and is just an amazing person whom I am sure will be a lovely life partner for my brother.

It was a title; Sister of the groom and it was quite an enlightening experience throughout the whole wedding.

1. For a first, I get full and first hand view of the whole process, of course.

I mean, it is not everyday I get front row seats and all that privileges thrown my way, and that only comes with that label (don't be jealous)
Priority seats, speeches, ceremony, photography, well, let's just say, it is all part of the priority package.

2. My First Time partaking in the traditional tea ceremony (as a participant)

(Nope, I am not in this photo. Obviously I couldn't take a photo of myself drinking my tea, and I have yet to receive the official shoots)

I usually watch the tea ceremony, but this time, I am promoted to sit right there and have that tea served to me.
Yes, if you are unfamiliar with the whole tea ceremony tradition practised in the Chinese culture, it is a custom to have the younger ones present tea to the elder family members (usually married) during wedding as a sign of respect to the elders and also for the purpose of seeking their blessing and acknowledgment of the whole union.
They will address the elder family members by their rank in the family.
The elder family members who drink the tea will then also return the acknowledgment by drinking the tea (usually to finish the tea) and say a few words to give them their blessings (auspicious and meaningful words to the newly weds) as part of the welcoming gesture into the family. Then the elders would also hand them a gift token (usually in form of money and gold jewelry inserted into red packets).

I am technically promoted to sister-in-law status, of course, to the bride and I am still, the sister of the groom (hello?)

3. I get to say a few words, officially 


To humiliate my brother, the groom in front of all his colleagues, friends and relatives (just kidding)
I am honored with the opportunity to give my own speech at his wedding dinner, expressing my feelings and sentiments on this very topic, "How it is like to be the Sister of the Groom"
Yes, please clap.
Thank you.

4. My First Time at the main table



As the wedding took place over a course of three events; I was honored to have earned a seat at the main bridal table at one of the events (the bride's wedding party)
In Chinese custom, traditionally, depending on the location of the bride and groom's hometown, there are usually wedding ceremonies conducted at both if required, with regards to the distance.
The bride would usually hold a party for her family and relatives if she hails from a hometown where her location is further from the groom's residence.
Since my sister-in-law had a wedding party in her hometown (her own homecoming party), it is only natural that the groom's immediate family are invited since we are the in-laws.
Therefore, that is where I got my chance at that tiny opportunity to be seated at the main table.
Probably my first and only time, for many years/generations to come.
I wonder.

5. Helping with the angpows or crucial arrangements


Since the stars of the day and the parents are usually tied up with the important events, it would be really hard to get them and therefore, the task is left to the siblings, if there is any verification or cross check needed.
Pretty much, siblings are and should be the second-in-command for the big day; familiar with the flow of the events or anything which require any decision there and then.
After all, siblings; we are supposed to know what our sibling (who are busy as the bride/groom) want, right?

6. Enjoy a LITTLE bit of attention


Just a little, not too much, thank you very much.
I am definitely not self-obsessed, at all.

Oh, you are the Sister of the groom?
I have heard so much about you!
You're his sister? You still remember me? We used to go to school together!
Yup, that's the whole thing but it was lovely meeting all the wonderful people and in case you are wondering, I really do remember most of my brother's friends/classmates/schoolmates and church friends, for he really does introduce them to me or tell me about them.
It was a great walk down the memory lane, as much as it was for him as it was for me.

But, not too much attention please, I am just, the sister.
The groom and bride, is right there.

7. Time for photo-taking 


Well, of the view, and with the relatives.
When we are not in that center of attention (it's a good thing), I get the chance to take more photos of the surroundings and also with people I meet up with; especially long lost cousins.
Then of course, those stolen and candid shots of the bride and groom, when they aren't looking, so we get to blackmail them for years to come.
(Nope, I didn't manage to get shots like that, and even if I do, I won't ever blackmail anyone. 
Not unless I see the guy with Hello Kitty or Powerpuff Girls, hmmm...)

We have that spare time on our hands, until someone looks for us...that is.
Hey, where do I place this?
Oh, right here, please excuse me while I go put that basket back..

Needless to say, the overall experience was exciting (I know, everyone's asking why I am so excited), but I wear the label proudly, for I don't think I will get another chance at that.

And I am glad, I didn't make a fool of myself :)

Yours truly,

The Sister of the Groom.


*Author's Note: 
This is not a sponsored/promotional post, and solely based on author's personal opinions and do not represent the general public. 
Experiences vary from one individual to another.
You do not have to agree with me.

Art Direction and Photography Styling by Me.
Photos/Videos all belong to me and are copyrighted.
Please kindly ask for permission if you need to use any of my images.

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