Great Expectations: What to Expect When You Expect

By Christina Kim - March 12, 2016


We all have expectations.
From that day we we were born, we already have expectations (even if we are not aware).

A newborn baby cries when he/she expects to be fed or to have a change of diaper.
A child sulks, screams, or fool around when he/she expects attention from everyone around him/her.
Students study hard because they expect to do well in their examinations, to please their parents and they expect a bright future ahead.
We work because we expect our bills to be paid and that we can afford things in our lives; and of course, that retirement fund when we are no longer working.
We search for love because we expect to be loved.

Whatever we do; be it at any age and regardless of gender, we all; every single one of us, have expectations.

We always expect.

It is not a bad thing because it is just the way we are all wired to be.
Even the most saintly person, does have expectations.

They want to inspire because they expect that good will spread and that the world will become a better place.
That is an expectation in itself.

Expectations are not always bad; they can be for good.

It's simple, everyone has expectations.

While they can be for good purposes, sometimes there are times expectations could land us into that very state our minds could be in, and even in predicaments where we could not get out of.
It can be a very confusing situation altogether.

Expectations could be exhilarating and even inspirational, but at the same time, it could also be devastating and frustrating as well.

It's complicated.

To simplify it, it all boils down to the hope when one expects.

Expectations always lead to hope, and hope, in most cases, if not always, is always ideal.
It is that idea of how things SHOULD ad OUGHT to be, never mind the situation.

When we study hard, we expect to receive a good education.
We expect to excel in our lives.
We expect to land ourselves good jobs.
We expect to have a good life, in short.
That's the ideal situation.

How do we get that idea?
We have seen it happen to others before us.
Usually those who do well in school, always somehow end up doing well in their lives.
Isn't that so?
The keyword here is Usually.

What if it's NOT?

The thing is, we don't often think of the NOT.
It's negative and we are always taught to think of the positive, because it's motivating and it makes us move in the right direction.

This is where things could turn awry; while being ideal at the same time.

Often than not, our expectations could put us all the way up on the highest level that everything is all a beautiful bed of roses.
When things don't go our way, we end up being unhappy.
We sink or fall straight from that highest level (think from the skies or the highest floor of a building) and land straight on the ground.
(Okay, maybe some of us could end up still hanging in the mid-air).

For some, that fall takes on the meaning of how the world just came crashing down.

We blame ourselves and think that we are not good enough.

All because of what we expect did not turn out in reality.

Expectations is itself a very broad perspective, but the question is, How much to Expect and How Not to Over Expect that we end up killing our own identities in the process?

Look at yourself in the mirror, and ask yourself, first and foremost, "What Do I Expect?"

You probably have your own list of expectations.
We all do.

List them down, and ask, what happens if I don't meet them?
Have you ever thought of them?
Can you handle it?

You see, while expectations set our goals in our lives; if not handled right, could just land us in the worst misery ever.

It all comes down to striking that right balance.

You don't have to lower or strike off all your life goals, but instead learn to keep that balance.

It is okay to harbor expectations in your life, and setting your own life directions but don't place that same expectations on others in your life.

We could have that control on ourselves.
(Remember the mirror, you could control what you expect and what you want).

The same cannot be said of others.

Personal expectations could already be detrimental mentally, but the other one would be the external factors.

Why are people unhappy in their relationships or friendships?
Why are people unhappy at work?
Why are people unhappy with their parents or vice versa?
The list goes on.

Because they EXPECT of others.
They have that expectation on how others SHOULD be towards them.
They expect people to follow their way; or at least, in the way they imagined.
They want the best behaviors and treatment, without realizing that, it is all our own doing.

We think that way, because it is OUR own expectations.
We can expect, but we CAN't control what others would react towards us.

We expect people to like us when we are nice to them.
But that is not necessarily true, and unhealthy as well.

If you want to be nice, be nice because you want to.
Not because you EXPECT a return.

At the end of the day, it all boils down to one single thing; Expectations are all in YOUR mind.
Only you and you alone know what you want, or expect others.
Don't expect others to know.

Even if you were to tell that person what you want or how you expect, Don't EXPECT them to fulfill YOUR expectations.

It is ALL in YOUR mind.

If you always end up Expecting others and half the time you don't get what you Expect, don't blame others.
Don't blame someone else for your happiness and your lack of.

You can't control others, but you can control your own mind and how you feel or want to respond to the situation.
You wouldn't want someone to place expectations and then blame you on their unhappiness when you don't meet theirs either, would you?

Don't EXPECT the world to be Nice to you.
Don't EXPECT the world to rotate in the direction you want.

MANAGE your own expectations, and you will realize that you will end up happier.

Remember, it is all in YOUR MIND.


Have GREAT Expectations of yourself if you must, but Understand what your expectations mean to yourself and Learn to ease/let go of your expectations of others and the world in general.

Your mind will thank you for it.

No one can disappoint you when you don't set too much of an expectation.

Even better, go without expectation sometimes.
When you expect nothing, you may in turn learn to see the beauty in everything.
You may even end up surprised by how that would be for a change.

After all, wouldn't it be nicer to enjoy surprises rather than disappointments?

It is said that the greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment.

The choice is yours.

Expectation is the root of all heartache
- William Shakespeare -

*Author's Note: 
This is not a sponsored/promotional post, and solely based on author's personal opinions and do not represent the general public. 
Experiences vary from one individual to another.
You do not have to agree with me.

Art Direction and Photography Styling by Me.
Photos/Videos all belong to me and are copyrighted.
Please kindly ask for permission if you need to use any of my images.

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