It is not easy to find someone you can call your life partner (I prefer to leave the soulmate part to further debate).

Someone who could make you think of spending the rest of your lifetime with.
Someone who makes you change your mind about being single.
Someone whom you want to be with, all the time.

Perhaps marriage comes to mind, though not everyone would think that marriage is the only way to spend the rest of their life with that special person they would call life partner.
No judgment on that.
Everyone has their own opinion on what works best; especially when it comes to their own happiness and lifetime.

However, I will be focusing on marriage since that is the topic here and also because that is the path I personally took, though it doesn't mean this is not applicable to anyone who chose not to go into marriage.
It is just more on a perspective and personal sharing rather than claiming to be the truth.

When you are considering marriage with someone you love and who loves you equally, the whole relationship and the outlook will be taking on to a further level.
It will go beyond the movie dates and romantic dinners, or the hard to bid goodbyes at the door every evening after going out with each other.

It is about spending your lives with each other.
It is about staying under the same roof, sharing the same bed, bathroom, kitchen and pretty much even the same air you breathe in as you move into the same living space.
You will be seeing this person every single day; he/she will be the first person you see when you open your eyes in the morning and the last person you see before you close your eyes at night.

It is not just about wearing gorgeous white gowns and tuxedos, and having a grand wedding ceremony; nor is it about putting on the rings and signing that piece of paper to officiate the status as each other's spouse.

It is way, way beyond that.

Sure, it is always sweet at the start and also during the time of a relationship between two people and everything seems perfect under the stars.

That is when they are two different individuals.

But when it comes to spending your life with each other; that means forever (whether you get married or cohabit with each other).

That requires more than just thinking or deciding where to eat or what movie to watch every day.

Even a single person would know that, when they purchase and move into their own homes.
There are just many things one would have to look into to ensure that their living conditions are meeting their expectations.

Take that situation and double it; we are talking about two different people coming together.

There are many factors to consider when two people come together; as both are unique individuals who came from different backgrounds, families, education, religious beliefs and the list goes on.
In short, both are Different people.

Even identical twins are different from each other, let alone life partners.

When you choose to enter into marriage, you are making a decision to bridge that gap and be with each other; amidst the fact that you are two different people.

There are of course, things you will need to consider and even talk about, or rather work it out amicably between the two of you as you plan your future together.

We are talking about two lives coming together as one.

There is no exact guide or definite list on what you should talk about, though no doubt, there are also many articles out there talking about what you should discuss with your future spouse before marriage.

There is also no firm timeline or law on when this conversation should take place; though it is recommended that the couple should talk about them before marriage.
There are those who would only look into them after marriage.

That is fine too, it is up to one's preference.
Perhaps if you have attended a pre-marriage workshop (based on religious denomination requirements or simply by choice ), you would be told or even guided to talk about topics before marriage.

I was always discussing about a lot of things with my partner; even way before marriage and starting from the time we met at the start of our relationship.

Perhaps I am always one for communication; things just naturally fall into place as we could talk about almost everything under the sun.
I think that is very important; communication is key when it comes to relationships as we share our minds and exchange our opinions, rather than keeping mum and leaving it to guesswork.

To me, a relationship is not a relationship if there is no communication involved.

Therefore, the ease of our communication just took its own flow as we discussed about things and possibilities of the future; or the prospects of marriage, even at the early stage of the relationship.
Even if you are not sure if marriage will be the answer, the topics to discuss are still relevant and play an important role in the overall prospect of the relationship.

Here, a few topics to talk about with your partner or someone you would consider your life partner/spouse before you commit to a lifelong relationship; casually or formally:-

1. Finances



Like it or not, this is the most important one of all, for we live in a commercially driven world; not to mention an extremely materialistic one.
It is hard to avoid the topic of money when it comes to living, or even if anyone wants to just stay alive.
It is the same, everywhere or anywhere in the world.

Who will be paying for what?
How will the finances be organized?
Will there be shared accounts, or division of expenditures?
What should you spend on, or not?
What are the spending habits you both have, and can you accept that of each other?
What needs to be cut back on?

Surely, we live in a contemporary society where everything is about equality and the evolution of time has also given both genders opportunities in all areas; and there is no longer any discrimination when it comes to gender (sure, gender discrimination still exists in some way or another, but in general, women and men can now choose their career paths and women no longer are confined to their homes or being denied education)

As both are now capable of making their own dough and supporting themselves financially, coming together as a couple would also mean pooling those financial resources and unless you are planning to keep everything to yourself, there should be discussion on the combined resources.
Of course, even if you ARE planning to keep your own money to yourself and make your spouse take up all the support of the household financially, make sure that is conveyed to your partner and that you can both come to a mutual agreement on what works best.

Don't let money be the reason to hinder you from a loving relationship.

2. Commitments/Priorities

When you were on your own, you had your own time to yourself and your own aspirations definitely.
You can choose what to do with your life, how to spend your free time or even what to pursue personally.

When it comes to being a couple, that should be laid out on the table.
Share with your partner your aspirations, and what you really like or even dislike.
Lay out your own plans and look into how that could now come into the picture with the two of you.
Sure, nobody can stop you from pursuing your dreams or tell you what to do, and this is not about that.

This is about how you can both work around your personal life goals and how they will fit into your lives.
Share your sentiments on things that matter to you, and have your partner understand that.
At the same time, put yourself into your partner's shoes as you try to look into their priorities too.

Understand the difference and the shared values you both share, so you can both move in the same direction.
Keep in mind that you are both different individuals and there are bound to be differences.

3. Religious Beliefs


Whether you are a devout religious devotee or an Atheist, you have your own beliefs when it comes to your way of life.
Your religions could be rooted from your family background and your upbringing, or it could be your very own choice.

It matters because you need your partner to understand your stand when it comes to your own beliefs; and if you are willing to convert to another religion if your partner requests to.
(Some religions require you to convert if you want to enter into marriage with each other)

This may be a sensitive topic; so approach with care and consideration.
Be thoughtful towards each other, and understand where you are both coming from.

It is important because the very foundation of varying religious beliefs could tear you apart from each other if you cannot come to a compromise.

At the end of the day, it depends on how much you are willing to invest into the relationship and the depth of your love for your partner.
No one can force you to do something if you are not willing to, and once you have decided, make sure you have thought it through.
Don't bring it up as a sore point in the future whenever there is an argument.

You have a choice and you MADE that choice.


4. Logistics



You were probably staying far apart from each other, or you were probably neighbors before.
Whichever it is, or wherever you used to come from or call home, you are now going to be with each other and that means staying under the same roof.
Well practically, you are both going to be living in the same space.

Where would that be?

Will that be moving in with your or his parents?
Will you be getting your own place?
Will you be moving to somewhere else?

Discuss the options, talk about your preferences and what works best (bring up what doesn't as well).

The key is honesty - bare it all out because this is the place where you will be staying, well, pretty much, most part of your married life (depending on when or where you would move to next, but this is where you will begin your marriage)

5. Other Relationships

I am not telling you to share the number of previous relationships you have had before; although that would be a good start.
Whether you have had any other relationships before and who your former partners were, is something you can choose to or not to tell your future spouse.
Of course, it would be good if you could tell and talk about it, to avoid future misunderstandings but really, it is your choice.

Anyway, I am not just referring to your former relationships but also the other relationships you have in both your lives.

One of the most important is of course, both your families and extended families.
Then there is the co-worker or even close friendships you have with others; particularly if there is of opposite gender.
Depending on your spouse, it would be good to be frank from the start to give them the heads-up on what to expect from your relationship.

Sure, your relationship is about the both of you, but the world does not revolve around only the two of you.

You are both who you are today because of the people who brought you to the world and also the people you are around with, which shaped your perspectives and beliefs.

Make it a point to talk about these people; and let your partner know the roles they play and the importance of them in your life.

Like it or not, you can't ignore the fact that there will be strings attached; we all have these strings anyway.

You might want to worry if there is totally no one in their lives, and if this is the person you want to be with the rest of your life (if you are socially active) while they are living isolated lives.

No man is an island, and if they were, then you will be the new addition and that signals major change to your partner's life.


6. Family Planning



Granted, you may be looking into having children with your spouse following marriage, or even if not, you may be looking at having your own family; options include adoption.

Maybe you may not want children, or your partner wants more than one child.
These are topics you will have to talk about with each other.

The decision to have or not to have children should be entirely up to the two of you; don't let anyone force you into anything you are not willing to.

The next question is the upbringing and cultivation of your offsprings, if you have decided to have children.
This is an important thing to look into; maybe most would overlook and only consider after the children is born, but this is about bringing up a whole new and next generation.
It should very well be considered and discussed when you decide to bring them to the world.

What kind of values do you want to instill?
What are the differences in both your own family values in your upbringing?
Which religious belief (yours or your partner's) should your children adopt?
Can you agree on what's best?
What kind of education style are you looking at for your child?
Should you spare the rod or use the rod?
What are your shared values?

It is a long list of topics because we are talking about an important responsibility.
When it comes to parenting, everyone wants what's best for their children and that concept of what's best may and will differ for each and every one of us.

Then don't forget about the other people in both your lives; i.e: your parents and elders who will be chipping in with their opinions.

Sure, you don't want to be rude, and you can take the tips from them with courtesy and due respect to their experiences, but at the end of the day, make sure it is what you both want and that you yourselves, know what you want.


There are probably many more topics I could think of, or maybe you could too, though these are fundamentally, in my opinion, the most basic to go into discussion during your relationship and before marriage.

Then maybe there is that whole thing about wedding planning you will think of to discuss, but that is the ceremony where you will enter into the marriage and should not be considered the one to dominate your concept of ultimately what your ideal marriage should look like.

It is a beautiful thing to find someone whom you could love just as much or even more than yourself, to the point to think of spending the rest of your lives with each other.

Do not let all the trivial matters stand in your way, if you are sure of each other.

The wedding is of course, the very beginning as you pledge your love for each other, but remember, it is just one day (maybe a few days at the max).

A marriage is what lasts a lifetime.

That should be the ultimate focus.




Have a good conversation with your partner; not only before marriage but all the time.

A good relationship, not just marriage is all about communication.

So get talking!~

There is just magic in weddings; I would know, for I love weddings, and there is no reason not to.

I mean, the love surrounding the couple, in their eyes, their affection for each other, the beauty of the ceremony as they walk hand-in-hand towards their new journey, joined as one, are just all so magically powerful.
There is just so much which I could go on and on about wedding, and my love for weddings even made me want to be a wedding planner on the side, at one point.
Yes, just once.
(Everything has to be perfect for me, and planning a wedding is a huge thing. I would know, when I planned my own wedding).

I have always looked forward to weddings; to attending them and being a part of them for I just love to share my prayers and blessings for the couple.
Be it friends, colleagues, or even as a plus one, I still love to be a part of such a romantic ceremony.

What more to say, when this time, it is the wedding of my one and only sibling.
Attendance is not only necessary, it was mandatory.
I would not have minded that; for when it is the wedding of one within the family, I would definitely be there even if I was not invited, let alone this was of one closest to me; the best friend and pillar I had in my life growing up.

That, was the reason I was in Langkawi island, for that, was the location they picked for their wedding.

No, in case you're wondering, neither the bride nor my family is from the island.

It was purely a destination wedding; set to fulfill their dreams.
After all, this is their big day and they have all the right to have their way.

The bride, now my sister-in-law, is a big lover of beaches and this was her dream wedding.

Every bride wants the perfect wedding, and she had her beautiful wedding right here by the Andaman sea.

Just a fortnight prior to this beach wedding ceremony on the Labor Day weekend, which is back to the middle of April, they had solemnized their wedding at the local parish church, before God.




The lovely ceremony preceded this event; which was set against nature's backdrop, right by the sea.


That was the reason I had to be in Langkawi, for there is no way I would miss my own brother's wedding and witness his union with his beautiful life partner, and soulmate with whom he is set to start the next phase of his life journey and for the rest of his life.

We arrived the evening before the Big Day, and met up with the rest of the relatives.

The Big Day itself unwind in its own flow; smoothly and successfully.

It was a day to remember indeed, and I am always emotional when it comes to weddings but this wedding, being one that joins two wonderful people whom I love is even more divine in its own way.

It is something watching friends walk down the aisle, exchange their vows; but it is another, watching these two lovely souls whom I know as they take their steps towards each other and to their new journey together.

One; whom I have known all my life, of course, and the other, whom we have long ago treated as part of the family.
She is the one who will fill that missing rib and both are people whom I consider blessings in my life.

That is the beauty of marriage; which is just like that part of baking, where it joins two souls together as one and at the same time, blends them into that mix along with the other ingredients they came with, which are namely, their past, background and most of all, their families.

I remember I was told, that many think that marriage is about two people, but it is way beyond that.
It is not merely about two individuals, otherwise there will be no diversity or stories in the mix, and that means the resulting cake (if we are still using baking as an analogy; mainly also because my sister-in-law is really a passionate baker/cook), just won't be as good.

These two individuals are not stand-alones, for with them is their past; from the places they came from/born, grew up, the stories from their childhood, the experiences they had before they met each other, and the people they have around them since their time of birth.
That is what makes them unique.

And that, is the recipe required when it comes to joining and marrying them together to make that lovely mould.

A wedding lasts for only a day (though it may take more than a year to plan and prepare for), but a marriage is what that will last for a lifetime.

That is, Until death do we part.

That, is the vow we take and make (for all the married people) when we pledge to step into marriage.

From the morning ceremony which involves the traditional bridal pickup and tea ceremony for the elders (according to the Chinese customs), to the beautiful vow exchange by the sea and finally the poolside dinner reception, it was every bit the perfect day for this sweet couple to start their journey.










Being the sister and part of the host, I have to say that I have shed more than just a few tears throughout the day and even in their earlier church ceremony.

There is truly just so much magic in a wedding day, and I am just such a proud sister to be part of this amazing journey.

To the lovely couple, may all the blessings of joy, laughter, and most of all love, be with both of you always as you stay together through the thick and thins along the journey.

To my sister-in-law, you probably have your own share of sisters and may not need another sister, but I will still treat you like my own whom I never had and may I be the sister-in-law you hope to have.
We may not be the perfect family, but with all our eccentricities and everything, we still welcome you into our family.

To my brother, my best friend and one of my greatest pillars in my life, I wish you every bit the blessing from above as you begin your new journey with your wife, with whom you will learn and love, just like yourself and even more, to your aging days and when your hair turns gray (naturally, not chemically).

It is not easy to plan a wedding, but it is far more than just a pretty picture when it comes to an everlasting marriage.



Love, faith and courage are what it takes to build that fairytale ending and the journey is only to be experienced by both husband and wife.
It is never one that one can walk alone, for what was one, is now a union of two, merged as one.

You have made it, you have created that perfect, gorgeous and memorable wedding day.

Now, may you continue to do the same for your marriage as you journey with each other.

That, is the prayer I have for the two of you as I continue to keep you in all my prayers every single moment.






You have both made such heartwarming vows, which have moved everyone present to feel your love and stirred that emotions within us. 

Keep them always in your hearts and minds, Remember your vows the way you made them and how you feel when you made them as you walk hand in hand always and be there for each other.

For What God hath joined, NO Man shall put asunder.

To love, to every blessed wonder, and to Happily Ever After~







And, That, was just what I did during the Labor Day long weekend; where I drove all the way to Langkawi island to be part of this meaningful day for this is indeed, the #WeddingoftheYear for #TheKims, where #PatWedsElyn.

It is all worth every moment as I watched them both embark on their new journey, towards marriage; vows and promises of faith...
Sealed, with Love, by the Andaman Sea.


P.S: #TheMostBeautifulWedding

~This is a Special Post Dedicated to the newlyweds~


(The entire wedding ceremony is organized in multi-parts, taking place on different dates and locations)








Location Featured:
The Westin Resort and Spa, Langkawi
of Starwood Hotels and Resorts Group

Photos in this post belong to the couple and are published with permission on this blog
Please DO NOT republish or share the photos without permission, thank you.

Romantic sunset.
Candlelight dinner for two.
The Beach.
At the Park.



Any place that harbors that deep meaning, that only the two of you know of.
For a purpose.
It is Romantic.
It is Mysterious.

He arranged the setting.


Then,  He Pops THE QUESTION.

You Said Yes.

Now, you are Officially Engaged.

You're over the moon.
You're elated.
You've been waiting for this day to come.
Or not.

You've been in the relationship with Him for years.
It's time.

You've just gotten into the relationship.
It's too soon.

Whichever it is, the key is, He Asked.
You Answered.

It's a YES.
(If you answered No, that would be a different article)


Then CONGRATULATIONS, my girl.

You're now OFFICIALLY ENGAGED.


You call your parents, your best girl friends and you share the news.
You giggled and screamed over the phone.
You can do that little jig in your room.
You can show off your engagement ring (or any engagement token you have, people are creative these days. It's not always the ring) on your social media accounts, or just well, swoon over the sight of it.

You are on Cloud Nine.

You're Getting Married.

You're officially Off the Market.
You're about to strike off that Single category.

Your dreams came true.

You are getting Married.
You have dreamt of your Wedding Day since you were a little girl.
You know you have.

Now you are going to see your own wedding day.
You are going to BE IN IT.

You have all these ideas.

There are just so many of them.

You know the Next thing is to Plan your Big Day.

But, the Big Question is, Where to Start?


Move over all that squeals of happiness and secret smiles, you are now faced with the Reality of Planning your Wedding.

This is the Big Day; and is known as the Most Important Day in a Girl's Life.
(After her Birthday, that is. Unless you're not huge on Birthdays. Well, at least, I am)


This is something you have got to do.
You have got to do this Right.
It is that Once in A Lifetime.
Some men call it crap, but most men sees it equally as important to them.

You know you want it to be perfect.
It is after all, Your Day, where you are crowned the Queen for the day.

Unless you are planning to elope, there is no avoiding the planning of the Big Day.

Sure, you can hire a wedding planner and throw everything to him/her/the team.

Still, you will need to be involved.

It is Your Wedding Day.
You need to have an idea of how You and your husband-to-be want it to be.

This is the Reality, and it happens right after the engagement.

Every bride goes through it.


What should you do first?

**I am not an expert, but I am just sharing some tips and basics, to shed some light on that whole process.


First of all, take a Deep Breath and Relax.

You can take a quick moment to celebrate with your fiancé (yes, call him that now, you've said yes to his proposal and that makes you officially engaged).


Of course, you will need to inform your family; your parents and your closest immediate family members, and your closest friends.
(Don't rush to inform the whole world just yet, but if you want to, go ahead. You've got the guest list to work on later).

Then, it is time to look through and make that list.

A list of things to help you have that overview of the entire process.
Just the process, first of all.




1. List down your dreams, wants and needs.
    It is okay, just list them all out on a blank piece of paper, or just draw them out in some kind of    diagram. Whichever way works for you.
Do this separately.

2. Sit down with your fiancé and share both of your lists.
   Usually the guys are simple, they will just refer to yours.
 
3. Work out a Budget.
    Yes, this is the most important part of the planning, I can't emphasize on this enough.
    No matter how rich or how much cash you could afford to throw into the sea or burn, you NEED a BUDGET Plan.
   This will help to set the framework for everything and maintains the reality of your planning.
   You need a structure; an outline or you will end up building castles in the air.

4. Set your priorities
    Are you setting your funds for other things? A New Home after the wedding? A New Car?
    Further Education?
    Whatever it is, you will need to decide where you want to Splurge and how it will affect the other
    things you have in plan.


5. Start Surveying Ideas for Weddings and Checking out the Prices for your wedding requirements



   It is much easier when you have that budget because you will know how to negotiate your way and
    also know when to walk away from a deal that you know is just not realistic.
    You are not depriving yourself of anything.
    You are merely being realistic.
    You need to survey, and do your research.
    Don't just depend on hearsay.
    The Wedding business is a niche market, and things change quickly, in matter of months, or even
    weeks, sometimes.
    Don't take advices or recommendations from years ago. Check it up, and confirm the facts.
    You need to EXPLORE the options.
    Some of the vendors may not even be in the business anymore, and there are much more
    innovative ones out there currently.
    Research, Survey, Explore as much as you can.




6. Set the Date (and the timeline)



   This is just as important as the Budget.
    You need to decide on the Date, as soon as possible, because nothing could move forward without
    THE DATE.
    Every vendor you talk to will want to know the date.
    Discuss with both parents on their requirements, even if you already have your preferred date in
    mind. Some customs may require certain traditions to be followed.
   You don't have to adhere if you don't want to, but make sure this is amicably discussed and agreed
    upon with both the elders and your fiancé.


 
These are just the basic and the early steps in the planning stage.
It is just a guideline, you don't necessarily need to follow, or even agree with me.

Everyone has their own expectations and requirements, not to mention visions of their ideal setting.

I am just sharing based on the collection of experiences (and also from my own).
I was not perfect too, and I have been through the bumps too.
I learnt through my mistakes (I've made many mistakes too).
No one is Perfect.

You can always dream of the Perfect Wedding, but stay realistic.


Most of all, DON'T be SWAMPED up by the entirety of the process of planning.
DON'T STRESS yourself too much.

I would know, because I am a worry wart and I often stress myself over every little thing.

I don't want others to go through the same experience.

I'm not going to lie, or sugar coat to say that this is a bed of roses, but like everything else in life, there is always bound to be the good and the bad.
This is just part of the process.


There are just so many things which will be coming up after this stage of engagement.
This is just the beginning.

So Chill, and just take it as a vacation.

Yes, just take it that you're planning for a vacation.



It will be a whole lot LESS stressful.
Vacations are always Fun, aren't they?
Remember how happy and excited you are whenever you are planning to go somewhere? 

To Travel or just to unwind and relax?
Keep it there, in your mind.
Stick to that feeling.

If that does not take the load off, well, just remember that Stress does not benefit the Skin that much.

So, if you are looking for that perfect Bridal glow, and just looking your BEST and MOST BEAUTIFUL on your BIG DAY, Stress is not the answer.
Stress is not your best friend.
Stress is your enemy.

You will need to maintain that light heart and keep that positive attitude.

Your skin and body will thank you for it.

Trust me, it will SHOW on the BIG DAY.


Above all, just remember to have a few trustworthy people to refer to should you run into any problems or need clarification.
Also, have your best friends or that company whom you could rely on to vent or to just lean on their shoulders when you just need to.
(Bless you if you have sisters, a plus point).


You Dreamt of the Beautiful BIG DAY.

Now, make that a beautiful dream and not a nightmare.

Enjoy the process!



*This is a series for Wedding Planning that I will be sharing, intermittently through the posts on my blog.
There will be MORE Posts on Wedding Planning :-)
It is just for thoughts, and to share experiences, mostly, to spread the happiness to all brides to be.

Specifically, I am also dedicating this to two very special people in my life who are about to be married. I love them both very much, and I would love to share as much as I can, since I am often away. I will be at the wedding though, definitely.

This is for Both of You, you know who you are.

Once upon a time, a girl was wishing upon a star that she will meet her Prince Charming.

A dashing and handsome man who will come riding on a horse, sweep her off her feet and whisk her away on his horse in a tight embrace, galloping together; with their visible silhouettes towards a magnificent and beautiful castle in front.

They shared that magical kiss and they will live happily ever after.

This, is a fairytale, of course, but it is a fairytale that has made its way into every girl's head since they were, well, a little girl.
Every girl believes in fairytales.
Every girl believes in that concept of Happily Ever After.

Yes, every girl, like it or not.
Maybe you're not one of them, then, well, Most of the girls believe in this beautiful picture.

Blame it on the great authors, the animation makers, and all those who have painted that perfect and glossy picture of how true love is like.
Of how it would be like when girl meets boy and be with each other, forever.
Of what, marriage Ought to be like.
It's about being happy together, always.
Until eternity.

After all, that's what Happily ever after means, right?

It is that picture that snuck into little girls' minds, following them to the age of adolescence.
It is something which they have grown up with, and accustomed to.
It is one that they have lived to expect, and to search for, waiting for the day it will realize in their lives.

Every girl dreams of that perfect man, and how her wedding would actually look like.
It is not always the same, but the notion of happily ever after is the ultimate objective.

Of course, we all know that it is not realistic that it is the case, but it one that many could hope for.
It is so beautiful because it represents that hope.
A hope that many wants to materialize in their lives, and would spend their lives waiting for that perfection.

Sometimes it turn out unrealistic, as some starts to mar the line between fantasy and reality, often turning away potential love interests in their wait for that Prince Charming.

They never realize that Prince Charming is not all about perfection.
They never realize that he is fictional and that it should not be a quest to find that exact same person.

Perfection is how the person appears in one's eyes.
It is not about matching exactly that dashing suit and that white beautiful horse, nor is it about the status of the Prince or the beckoning castle promising a life of wealth and luxury.
These are all just metaphors.
They did not realize.

Instead they spend their time waiting and hoping for that person to appear.

The same goes to the boys.

They dream of princesses; with fair skin as white as snow, and hair as black as ebony, red rosy cheek and lips.
Elegance, beauty and grace make that ideal impression of their potential life partner.
They want to be that Knight in shining armor, to flash their swords, striking at the beast to save their damsels in distress.
They want to be heroes, and to be always seen as one.
Their escorts will always be nothing less than the belle of the ball.

It is just this mirroring image replaying itself in both gender's minds, for generations.
It is something they have been brought up to believe in.
It is something which they believed they were destined for.

Of course along the way, some broke out of the spell, but strangely, there are still those who remain hopeful of the miracle and that fairytales do really exist.

There is nothing wrong to believe in anything.
The mind is a powerful thing and it can make you believe in just about anything you want it to.
There is nothing absurd or unrealistic about believing in fairytales, and who are we to tell them otherwise if that is what they want to believe in.
It is their life partner after all, and they have every right to be selective and to even set the requirements for that person they want to spend the rest of their lifetime with.

We can never say that they are unrealistic.

The point is, don't judge.

We don't have to.

Each and every one of us have our own image of that person.
Some of us have already met that person, and have walked down the aisle, saying "I do" and committing to that lifetime together.
Some of may have just started meeting a few potential love interests and are still deciding or wondering which is The One for them.
There are even some, who already knew right from the start, that The One was right there with them.

The key is, everyone has the right to decide on who is right for them.
Who is The One.

Don't try to compare with each other.

No two person are the same.

There will never be.

Even identical twins are not born to be exactly the same.

Love and that whole picture of ideal love is something only the beholder can tell.

Only You know what and who is Right for You.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

For You are the one, who will be spending the rest of your life with that person.
That One Person who will be in your eyes, heart, mind and soul for eternity.

Strive for perfection all you want, but don't try to change someone into what you perceive him/her to be and what you believe is Right.

What is right for you, may not be right for your partner.

Love is not about finding the Perfection.

It is about the Right Person, and that Right Person is about You.
He or She does not have to be Prince Charming or Princess Snow White, but He or She makes you feel right.

Perfection and imperfection, altogether.

When you find The One; that Right Person, the stars will align themselves together.

Happily ever after?

It does exist, but it comes in many forms.
Do not expect a smooth path, for without the little pebbles, and obstructing rocks, you will not know and appreciate the true meaning of happiness.

The shining armor will appear when that big rock falls down from the cliffs above.

The sword will materialize when you are in extreme danger.

That horse to take you away, is always there and ready to gallop when you are ready.

That beautiful maiden with a shining tiara shines when you are in your worst.


That is the reality of fairytales.

They don't always have to match word for word.

You will know.

The Real Prince Charming and Princess Beautiful is not what they seem, just purely on the outside.

They are more than that.

Trust me, they will dazzle in your eyes, like precious gems when you find them.

No one else will know it is them.

Only You.

At that time, your Fairytale has materialized.





**Photo taken from a portrait hanging on the wall of a hotel, does not belong to me and is for illustration purpose only

Life is a Road I want to Keep Going
And Love, is just that River I want to keep flowing.

Yes, just keep it flowing, never cease in its journey as it rides and sails through every little rock and pebbles; upstream and downstream.
It just glides upon them, every so smoothly.
There are many rocks, and then there is always that falling branch which suddenly cracks from one of the trees lining the banks and falls into the river, hurling itself into the currents.
The river will still keep flowing.
Withering leaves, feathers, twigs, pebbles, wooden logs, trash or just about anything could just stumble into the river, causing that light ripple or just stir that water in the river.
The river doesn't stop.
It will just keep flowing, amidst all the obstacles.
Big or small.
The river never stops flowing.

That is how Love is like, and it is how it should be; the way I would want it to be.

Life is to me, a journey, and that road that I will keep on walking and just keep going.

LOVE, is the constant flow like in a river, that will just keep flowing.
It never stops.
Unless, there is no river.
Then there would be no Love.

This is exactly my thought when I said I do, four years ago.



That was four years ago.

How time flies.

To be honest with you, I never thought I would ever get married, when I was a little girl.
Oh sure, every girl dreams of her Prince Charming.
That one brave hero who would just appear, whisk her away on a white horse, armed with a bright shining armor and be everything that she wished for.
That perfect man.
He exists in fairytales.

Call me a dreamer, but I do believe in fairytales.
Yes, until this very day.
Perhaps I am delusional, perhaps I just never grew up.
But what is life without that little dream?
Or just that illusion, that creeps into your mind once in a  while?

I never thought or envisioned that there would be a Mr Perfect for me, or that I myself would be perfect for anyone at all.

It is not that I never believed in love, but I never thought that love is something that you could just make up or just create on the spot.
It should be just natural.
Love comes naturally.
It comes out of the blue.
It takes you by surprise.
It comes when you least expect it.
It takes your breath away.

Most of all, it just feels right.

How do we know?

I used to wonder at that question myself too, but the answer is, we will never know.

Or perhaps, we just know.

I have asked too, how do we know if that person is the Right One?
If He is my Mr Right?

The thing is, it is all in us.
It is our own feelings, our heart, our soul, that will tell us.
It is that feeling in the gut that will tell you that it is right.
Or maybe it is right.

Nobody can tell us the answer.

I never thought of looking for the answer.
I never thought of looking for love.
It is the truth.
I am not complacent; it is just because I do not know nor do I have an idea where to search.

I just want nature to take its own course.
If it never happens, well, then I am fine too, because you can't find, define or just force your way into love.
It just doesn't work that way.
I don't know how to explain this, or even define Love, because I am just not a Love expert.
I just think it makes another part of the universe which remains a mystery.

It may sound like I never believed in love, or maybe I never really did.
Or that I seemed to visualize love in ultimate perfection, or nothing.
I don't know, but I just didn't even know what love really means.

Of course I would know the exceptional and unconditional states of love as obviously shown by parents or our Creator, but between two beings who could be complete strangers, that would never be a clear definition to how it should or would be like.

Perhaps I am unclear, and perhaps I have not recognized or seen love.
Love may have passed me by, many times but I did not see.
Perhaps I have just been too deluded in my own thoughts, or maybe I could just say that, it was never meant to be.

It is always written in the stars, they say.

I guess you could say that, else, how would two complete strangers meet, find each other when they are from two different parts of the world, or the country, fall in love, come together and be with each other, pledging to stay with one another for the rest of their lifetime?

I met him at work, we started off as friends.
Yes, the usual story and it was all over coffee and getting to know each other.
We just found that link that brought us closer to each other.
Perhaps it was the interests we shared or the differing aspects we see in life.
We don't drink coffee, and we are exactly in tune with each other on everything, yet we could talk about everything under the sun.

I didn't know then, but he was sure.
Maybe I am just always the unknowing, the unsure and the unbeliever.

Faith and fate pursued.

In a blink of an eye, we became closer and the best of friends.
We became each other's eyes, ears and companion.
We laughed at each other, with each other, and stood up to hold the other's back in times of need.
I have vowed to never cry in front of anyone, but he could have been one who had seen me shed a tear or two.
We have seen the best and motivated each other to achieve greater heights.
We believed in one another in a world of skeptics.
We have seen the dark hours and stood there, ignoring the harshness of the world.
We never gave up on each other.

We were best friends, then we were partners.

Then it was official, we walked down the aisle and said Yes, I will walk the rest of the journey of life with each other.



Love, just like life, is never perfect.
We could never predict what would happen next.

I was not looking for the perfect man; or the best looking man in the world.
I was not looking for the ultimate protector or warrior who must protect me at all times.
I am not looking for a superhero.
I am not looking for the smartest guy in the world.
He doesn't have to have everything in the world.
He doesn't need to be the richest man, nor the most famous man.

I am looking for a listener, a companion, a partner in crime, and that person who knows me.
It is probably not even considered as requirements, because really, there is no definite list to say who is the perfect person.

I am a perfectionist, I never settle for anything less than perfect.

But perfection is not about having everything sometimes and sometimes the imperfections make the perfection even more perfect.

I am talking about myself.

I am not perfect either.
I am not the most beautiful girl in the world, nor am I the smartest or richest and most famous.
I am not that best hot looking chick who seems to have the world.
I am pretty content and blessed with what I have, and that to me, is my world.

To be joined by someone who shares my laughter and my cranky jokes, to see me as that one person even in my worst, that is to me, perfection.


We don't have to match the world's requirements of perfection.
Who sets the standards anyway?
We just need to see ourselves in each other's eyes, and decide that this is right.

I don't need a perfect man.
I need a man who sees perfection even in the simplest things, because that is how I am.

Perfection is not about being right, being wonderful and perfect all the time.

Perfection is about that beauty in each other's eyes, even in times of good and bad, for better or for worse, in times of health and sickness and in wealth and poverty, that even age does not count as a deterrent, and we still look the same to each other.

We are perfect in each other's eyes.

Marriage and love is not about vows and about signing off officially as husband and wife.


It is about the flow.

It is about having that belief in each other, no matter what happens or wherever we are at any time.
It is about that faith and love that will always be there.

Nobody can guarantee how long it will last, or if we can tell if it will fade away someday.
It is always a feeling.

It is not a promise; it is not a commitment.
It is not something binding.

It is just a journey.
We continue to discover ourselves, and each other.

Like a river, we just want it to keep flowing.

Like a river, we want it to keep going and going.

May this river and our journey continue and that the four years, or many more, will always just be the beginning.




Happy Anniversary to my Best Friend and my Love, and to the River of Love that Will Always keep Flowing!