The Day You went away

By Christina Kim - April 16, 2020

The skies opened up for the bright sun, shining its might as always.
It was just like any normal day, we were together from the time the day breaks or from any time of the day whenever I need you.
Your presence is my source of comfort and the reason I could rest knowing that I have you to get me through the brightest of days and sometimes, even on rainy days which instead of bringing me joy cause my despair but I made it through, because you assured me I could.
I may not have known you from the very start, but from the moment I have known you, you have been the one I run to whenever I am in need.
It was you, which made things easier to cope with even on harshest days.
You were never warm in nature, you were cold, chilling to the bone sometimes but your coldness is still the most comforting ever whenever I need it.

I should have seen it coming, I should have been more conscientious, but that day you went away, it was just like any other day.
Perhaps I had taken you for granted, I never thought you will give up one day because you have been a fighter all the way.
Yet that morning, when we were just together as always, I heard you, loud and clear that you are going away and then, just like that you left, with a loud BANG and suddenly, it seemed that everything had stopped in motion.
Not a single breath of air just a shudder and loud BANG for a goodbye.
I was still oblivious, I was perhaps just stunned.
I tried calling you again and again, but you picked up and gave no answer.
Perhaps you tried, but the pulse and your stamina just gave way too.
Perhaps I have pushed you too much, and the pressure especially during the quarantine period could have just pushed you beyond your limits.
It was indeed a devastating day, and I wonder at the remaining days I would have to endure without you, especially when on the harshest of days.
Indeed, I know you are gone, for real and that you want me to mourn for you before your replacement comes along. You do not want to be forgotten so soon, as you choose a time when your memories will linger and that no one can come near.
It is for sure, even if the new comes along, it can and will never replace you.
It is just not the same.

Dismayed, I was about to lament this misfortune and fate but somehow, I did not for I think your departure is also meant to teach me something. It may not be a misfortune but rather an unseen blessing from above to strengthen my empathy through a personal insight and now, I am thankful that I can see what it really means.
And now, I can share your story and the insights you have brought.

That, was the story of my comforting air-conditioning unit which just broke down two days ago. Yes, the most unfortunate time to break down when we are all locked in at home and there is no way I could replace it nor can anyone come to take a look. It is not possible to fix it myself, for there is nothing to fix as I am pretty sure that it has definitely reached the end of its lifetime. On top of all that, it is during a time when the heat is just testing our limits. It has been a really hot spell of late and there is not much of rain that we are seeing around here, so one can only imagine the heat plus humidity we are going through on this side of the world.

I am not one who complains of heat before, and I do not usually turn to the A/C all the time but over the years, the weather has gotten more and more unbearable (I am sure no one would oppose to my opinion) with extremities hitting us in what used to be a more subtle region which enjoyed moderate weather as compared to other parts of the world. Think the raging storms and the scorching sun which we never seemed to encounter decades ago.
It is definitely the global warming, no doubt and in a country like ours which always has the grace of the sun (a little too much sometimes), we would welcome a little of the cold once in a while which we found through the invention of air-conditioning which has found its way into almost every household that can afford, and some even in numbers, rather than just solo.

The day my A/C gave way, there was a loud bang all of a sudden which I initially wondered at the source of the sound but with the function light still on, I did not realise it was the A/C. However, it became evident when it started feeling warmer and then there it was, the ember light on, blinking.
It was definitely not the best thing to happen given all the circumstances right now.
I could only stare at it, disbelievingly, praying that it is not happening. 
It was just an ironic situation, given that I was just thinking I did not mind the home confinement that much and had even written a post on it! Then it had to just slap me right in the face, as though challenging me, "Now I see if you can still enjoy your 'Stay at Home'".
It was indeed a funny thing when I come to think of it.

Of course, any normal reaction would be to cry out in dismay, lamenting this awful timing but  I did not as I stopped myself all of a sudden.
Something hit me, and it made me realise that this is not as much as a misfortune as it seems but rather an enlightenment for me.
It helped to put me into the shoes of those who are living the same way, the people who had no A/C installed in their homes even though they are dying of the unbearable heat, not because they do not want to but because, they simply just could not afford to. How could they, when they are even having trouble to put food on the table and some, even without a roof over their heads?

So, one A/C broke down, it is not the end of the world, otherwise, there are many who would have met their ends every second.
I am blessed to have even owned an A/C and even without it, I still have the comforts of my home and the good old fan which some of those households may not even have.
Yes, there are the hardcore poor who barely could make enough and even if they can afford a fan, it could be a small one which would have to provide for an entire family, crowding over the table and fanning themselves with makeshift fans at the same time.
It is not fictional, there are people who live like that even in this age, and they are just not visible to our naked eyes or simply, we just do not pay attention enough to the rest of others who are also sharing our planet and the air we breathe.
We are the fortunate ones who could have the things we want, yet we complain of not having enough. We lament when we cannot get a ticket to a concert of an idol we worship, when our favourite restaurant closes down, when we cannot get what we want and just when things do not go our way.
It is always our wants that precede even when our needs are met yet we are not satisfied and still find ways to find fault with everything else in the universe.
To be able to cry our grievances is already itself a blessing, for it shows that we are already very fulfilled with our lives.

As we are confined to our homes, it is not just a matter of social interaction, losing sanity, the restricted freedom and our lives put on hold as we worry about this and that, but it is also about how we can still worry about that when there are lives that really are put to a complete stop because of the entire pandemic and restriction?
People who are forced to stay at home but they spend every second worrying about not just their own selves but even their loved ones as their incomes which are earned by the day are put on a complete halt with no definite timeline. 
We can run to the grocery store on a weekly basis or as soon as our supplies run out, but for them, it is the mean of even replenishing which plagues them more than the actual plague happening outside. They are facing a plague of their own within the larger plague.
I can still find things to do and enjoy, praying for a vaccine and that things will resume to normal, in the comforts of everything and facilities which are there when I look and it is of course, a positive outlook where it is not as bad as it is but for these people, every second they breathe, they are worrying about their very own survival.

It is not to say that I never thought of them, in fact, they were the first people I thought of when this first happened and it kept me awake at night since then. I wondered about these people and already counted my blessings but now, I get to experience just that tiny bit of what it really is for people who have to endure the heat of the weather and to me, that is still nothing compared to the bigger problems the many have to face during this difficult period.
Yes, it is difficult for everyone, but it is almost life-gripping for those who cannot even have the means to continue to ensure their survival. 

An A/C that broke down? What is there to complain about?
It is just one device, and I still have many more things that fill my life.
It is not a big deal when it comes to struggle for survival of those I have just mentioned.
While I can tell everyone to be positive, I know that it is ideal yet at the same time, I am not highlighting this plight of the people to dampen your spirits nor say that we cannot be positive.

My main takeaway, we still need to keep our spirits and our faith up but for those who are complaining that they cannot do anything they like or lament their fate of being confined to their homes, spare a moment and think of those people who did not like it any better than you and are fighting to go out to make sure they can feed their family and ensure their survival while we, are just saying that our normal routines are disrupted?

Focus not on what we cannot do nor have, but rather, what we can do and already have aplenty of in our lives.
Even being able to wake up in the morning and breathe, is already a blessing itself.

I thank God for this unseen blessing and even my broken A/C, for its departure is not a misfortune but a lesson to remind me of the realities of life and how pampered we have been. I have known this long ago, but still, I think we do need a reminder once in a while to trigger that sense of empathy in us.

It is an insight I share and like me, it not just serves as an enlightenment, but you have also started or already counted your blessings, every single moment.

That is how we should start our day or live our lives, and for a start, start with finding one thing to be grateful for each day.
I promise, there is definitely more than one and the reward is just worth it.

On a note, thank you my dear A/C, you have served me well and indeed, you will leave me in sweat over the weather and my thoughts for everyone but they are valuable indeed in its worth indeed.

Oh, and there is one more thing to how the story ends, where the heat seems to be disappearing after my A/C broke down, as the next day, it started to rain heavily and cooled off the temperature considerably and I am starting to wake up to cloudy skies such as the photo in this post this morning.
It is indeed a blessing that God have shown me, and again, as I am signing off the post, I hear the thunder rumbling again.

There is definitely nothing to complain about but everything to be thankful for.
I am truly grateful.

*Author's Note: 
This is not a sponsored/promotional post, and solely based on author's personal opinions and do not represent the general public. 
Experiences vary from one individual to another.
You do not have to agree with me.

Art Direction and Photography Styling by Me.
Photos/Videos all belong to me and are copyrighted.
Please kindly ask for permission if you need to use any of my images.

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