A Little Something About Weddings...

by - Thursday, October 30, 2014

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October is a Month for Wedding(s)…
Well, also the month of my own wedding memories, to be exact as I celebrate my wedding anniversary this month and all the beautiful memories of the BIG Day just play themselves on my mind as though they are in some sort of slideshows or something. Yes, I am..was, actually, one of those October brides...
Every girl has dreamt of her wedding since well, she was a little girl (read the word girl in the beginning of the sentence). Those girls who haven’t, I am not sure if they know the term weddings or there must be something troubling them. Either way, I am in no professional position to comment on that.
From the magical surprise proposal which had minor(or major glitches) to the planning, the flowers, the venue hunt, the wedding dress search, the decorations, the vows, the presents and the programs, the list just goes on – everything just brings back incredibly heart-melting memories. 

Oh of course, I forgot about the groom – he’s after all, such an important person in the whole wedding thingy. 

After all, who would sign those crazy checks? (Just kidding, darling).
I remembered it being so crazy; and that I was just so particular about getting everything right – not so much of the bridezilla but rather that annoying perfectionist streak I can’t seem to shake off.
I have done so many posts on my wedding; gosh, I even have a blog dedicated to my wedding then and I could see myself still looking and remembering my wedding in a different, yet uniquely beautiful and heart-moving kind of way and that is definitely going in the good direction.
You could definitely tell that I love, and adored my wedding.
It wasn’t 100% perfect, but well, perfect enough to bring that smile and tear to my eye as I remembered it and watched my videos and flipped through the photo albums.
It was to me, meaningful in many ways, and the meanings may not be totally deciphered by the people around me who just thought that the whole thing was just another wedding of a dear friend, and I truly appreciated the presence of everyone who made it to share my day with me. 
From the colors to everything that made up the wedding, it all held the unique and defined meanings to me personally and it should be. To me a wedding is not just a day, it is what marks the beginning of a lifelong journey of marriage and being with another person whom we call spouse and that in itself, should say something. It need not be grand, but I would say that every wedding should have its own identity – the bride and the groom obviously, who are the celebrants.
The whole wedding should relate and reflect on the bride and groom, and this is something I found lacking in a lot of weddings. I am not trying to compare or say that some weddings are more superior or inferior, but the key message here is that a wedding should not be all about that ceremony and pleasing the parents; but it should constitute a soul. This is the spirit that mirrors the personalities and the lives of the two people who are about to be joined together in marriage.
I am no wedding or marriage expert; in fact, comparing to the many admirable old-timers who have gone through platinum wedding anniversaries, I am such a toddler in my marriage.
There is nothing to judge or to compare about when it comes to weddings and that should be the rule No.1 but often, many overlooked this part in their attempt to outdo each other and neglecting the ground rule or the divine essence that makes up the soul of the union. Sadly, the materialistic and judgmental world is not helping with this perception either and often the couples-to-be are forced to live up to the unrealistic expectations of their parents, relatives, friends and in general, the society. The budgets are exceeded, frustrations sink in, unhappiness creates that crack in the basic trust and raised doubts in the minds of both individuals who once made a loving couple, and it sometimes end up in ugly family feuds even before walking down the aisle or saying “I Do”.
Weddings are supposed to be joining two couples in love and THE Day to remind them of their commitment and the promise they made to each other to stay true to each other; through sickness and health, wealth and poverty, happiness and sadness and all it takes till death do they part. What happened to that equation? Do relatives and friends come to partake in all these stated in the vows? Are they going to be there through the thicks and thins of the married couples’ lives or are they just there to witness that significant moment and then make the seasonal appearances during the festive seasons, again to passing judgments like they are the greatest marriage or life counselors in the world?
If they are not, why on earth are they controlling so much of the decisions in the whole wedding ceremony?
Oh, this is not what we used to do. It’s inauspicious you know…
What, that’s all the dowry the groom’s family is offering? Well, not to be critical, but just so you know, the standard for our families and even in our hometown, the grooms always, always offer X amount
Why didn’t you invite Uncle A and Auntie B? They are such distinctive (unimportant, I don’t know them) people in the family! That’s shocking, and highly appropriate you know” (Simply translated as You have absolutely no manners whatsoever. Yeah, it’s my wedding and I could UNInvite you if I wanted to – there goes Auntie Z off the list)
No, this is not the right color for a wedding. It should be decorated more fancifully. You know, in the past, this would shock my grandmother and we would get a good scolding for days” (Oh really, but my grandmother’s not making any comment on my wedding because she had a simple one herself and she always promoted liberalism – heard of that? I am blessed to have such a great grandmother)
You get the drift.
It is just bizarre the things they think they could hold over our heads or to just barge into our weddings and quickly turn it into theirs; or frankly, to make up for the things they did not include in their wedding.
I say, You’re Welcome for coming in to ruin my wedding.
We have seen them all; the nosy and unwelcomed relatives who just think they are the know-it-alls and some even to the extent to deciding your guest list. Excuse me, who I want to invite (or not) is entirely my business, because, hello, it is MY Wedding. Not your make-up-for-your-own-mistakes-and-things-you-didn’t-do-redo-ceremony, so stop feeling sorry for yourself, and start feeling happy for US.
The list would go on and on, as I ramble about the many things people find annoying about the interruptions in their whole wedding planning before they walk down that aisle, that I could probably share in another post.
In the meantime, let’s turn the attention back to MY Wedding – yes, a walk down memory lane…
The many beautiful memories that still bring that tear back to my eyes.
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Thank you Mum and Dad for not barging in with your ideas and letting us do it our way.
Thank you Papa and Mama (Father and Mother-in-Law) for not enforcing any traditions and also let us run it ourselves
Thank you my dearest brother for the unconditional support and for standing up for me against those monsters, and for running around on the day. You’re the best anyone could ever have.
Thank you Dear Father Bernard for that insightful talk we had and for being the pillar of guidance through my planning
Thank you Lord for the many beautiful blessings you have bestowed upon us
Thank you my dearest friends who stood up for me; whether you could make it on that day or not, you are all in my hearts simply because you are my best friends.
Most of all, to the man of the day and in my life, the one whom I call hubby…
Thank YOU for being there, for being YOU and letting me have all that I wanted and just to be myself. 
Thank you Thank You Thank You….


(I need a tissue now….)

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A Toast to All those who are tying the knots soon

And to those who have tied the knots (maybe it gets more and more entangled and entwined now, in a good way)

Let's just toast to the beautiful weddings, all the weddings out there...



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