As Fate would Have It

by - Thursday, November 06, 2014

Things always happen to others, or only happen to other people; and we are always the bystanders or passersby, never the ones in the picture.
Like that accident you see by the roadside, you drive past and curse at the slow traffic and the nosy drivers hogging the road as they slow down; causing that massive traffic jam and you simply whiz past with an accelerated pace.
Then there's that headlines in the news about people who go missing each day, mobbed, kidnapped, and the list just goes on which we always think we would read or watch in that evening/morning news.

The thing is, fate has a very unique way of proving us wrong.
There is just something about fate that we could not tell.
There is no hint whatsoever; oncoming telltale signs which could be sensed, no scent or sound, or even a touch on the hand to tell you that something is coming your way.
When fate wants it, it would just happen, just with a snap of fingers from fate's side.

That's how everything happens with fate.
No one could predict it, and no one could change it.

That was how it was with my personal experience on last Friday when fate decide to step in and have its way in my daily routine.
It was truly something that only fate would have weaved together to form the entire picture; with all the elements thrown together in place.

(For the record, I have never been someone who doubted fate or even think that things would never happen to me. That's the reason for my vigilance and perhaps a little of paranoia).

Anyway, the story goes...

I was heading out of home on Friday morning, on my way to work.
It was just like any normal morning; especially those chirpy Friday mornings (because I just simply love Fridays) and I was running a little late, after a dozen phone calls and email rush, I headed out.
I have just finished bonding with my phone; replying all the messages that came in and the phone calls that I am pretty much done with them, and I had no particular unfamiliar place that I would go to which requires Waze, hence there was no need for my phone and I chucked it in the compartment.
I drove past the guard house and stopped at the junction.
This is a major two-way traffic junction we are talking about, and as it was getting past the usual peak working hours, there were visibly lesser cars than usual on the road on both sides.
The coast was clear for the oncoming traffic on the right, and I drove my car across the road to the next turning to head onto the road I was supposed to be on; to my left.
Again, after making sure there was no oncoming car/vehicle, I turned my car towards the left.

That was when it happened.
I didn't know what, how or why it happened, but all I know was I felt an impact and I heard a loud bang sound and next I know, I saw the obviously larger vehicle (a sports MPV) being rammed and steered towards the side of the road.
The other driver was just obviously in shock as well, as he pulls his vehicle to a slow stop a few meters down the side of the road.
I was horrified, shocked with that big 'O' on my mouth.
I simply cannot believe what had just happened.
I could not even remember what happened.
I was just in such a state of shock.
I slowly drove my car to the side of the road, which was farther from the other car.
I got out of my car and just knelt next to the left side of the front bumper which was just kind of lopsided.
Words cannot express that pain in my heart as I stared at the damage on my car
(Well, it was not exactly bad but still, it was not perfect, in its usual state).

The next thing I knew was I saw another familiar car pulling up behind me.
It was my daddy.
He was leaving the house right after me, as he was heading out to the local market to run some errands.
I didn't know whether to feel relieved at that time or embarrassed that I was in an accident (even though I was close to my daddy, maybe the independent side of me kicked in).
I chose the former, as my daddy calmed me and helped me over to approach the other driver involved in the accident.

As I walked over to him, the man; an elderly man, was just just sighing and with a frown on his slightly wrinkled forehead, asking me, "Miss, you didn't see my car coming?"
It wasn't a yell or an accusation, just a simple question in a soft-spoken tone.
(It's really surprising as I recalled the entire incident).

I shook my head and immediately apologized to him.
I did not know what else I could do (although now I was thinking whether I was the only one at fault, as I clearly did not see his car coming and I was pretty sure I confirmed that there was no oncoming car before I took that turn. I was also sure that I was not using the phone, nope, not at all).

Anyway, there was no shouting nor fighting and all was resolved in a very civil manner.
My phone number was taken down and we agreed to close this with a simple and direct resolution of the cost of the damages without involving the authorities or making any claim.
All was well, and I was on my way to work again, reflecting on how on earth could I have been so careless.
Dad helped me to check my car and comforted me, not once blaming or accusing me for the accident.
He just told me to be very careful and give him a call if I need anything.

As I was driving, I received a phone call from the guy, Mr N (the other driver), who informed me that he was told by the nearby workshop that he would need to send his car to the original car manufacturer for the repair as the damage could affect the electronic circuitry embedded in the car door.
(The impact on his car was on the passenger car door, which was dented).
He asked if I could go along so that I would know the explanation and the cost of the damages, which could be more costly.
He did not want to scare me with the bill either.

Initially I told him he can go ahead because I would pay for the damages, but he explained and insisted that it would be better for me to go along so that I would be in the clear.

I changed my direction, informed my boss that I would be on emergency leave that day (my boss was on leave himself on that day, but I sent him a message to inform him).
I met up with Mr N at his vehicle's manufacturing repair plant and in that brief discussion with the car agent, the repair costs was definitely higher than we (both) expected as the car door would need to be replaced with a new one and the costs/time would be high.
I was recommended to file for an insurance claim, which would mean the authorities would be involved - a police report is necessary for the processing of the claims.
I hesitated, but considering the costs, I knew that would be the only option.

Mr N also advised that it would be better, as it would mean the costs would be borne by the insurance company which could save me the hassle of forking out additional cash for the repair.
We both came to a mutual agreement and together we headed to the police station.
On the way, we agreed to head back to the accident spot to check out the name of the road for the police report later.

I picked my dad up, as it was near home anyway.
As we came to the side of the road, I spotted two cars by the road whom we mistook for Mr N and his family, but turns out, another accident had just occurred between those two cars too.
It was really a freaky Friday.

Anyway, we met at the police station where we agreed to file for the report together.
The police officers didn't think so apparently, and our statements were taken separately.
We had to return on the following Monday to purchase our printed police report.
Before that, we had to wait until 3pm for the sergeant on duty in charge of the accidents department to explain the situation and have him confirm the entire statement.
We had an hour to kill, and with the rain out there, Mr N suggested we have a drink at the canteen in the police station.
We chatted and talked about everything, and all this while, I was just amazed that Mr N was not as mad as I would have imagined.
In fact, he even consoled me, telling me that nobody planned for unfortunate things to happen and that sometimes it is just a twist of fate.

I could not agree more, and I even said a quiet prayer to thank God for the unseen blessing.

The whole ordeal took more than half of the day, and we then parted ways after settling the report and meeting the sergeant.

Many would think that this is an unfortunate incident, and while that is partly true, I chose to see the silver lining beneath this dark cloud.
(Ironically, it was on Halloween).

Given the character I was; I was surprised at how calm and collected I was after the collision and as the day unwrapped itself.
I did not even once felt angry; well, a tinge of regret and guilt maybe, but mostly, I was feeling blessed and am sure that this is a sign from above.

There were so many things that I could see from this incident; the blessings that may not be visible to the naked eye, but yet I just felt it straightaway and deep down in the heart.

It was a perfectly timed accident (not that I planned for it to happen) by God and it was astonishing the way things turned out to be.
It is unfortunate to be involved in an accident, but looking at the overall scenario, it was like it was just the way fate wanted it.

You see, I was pretty certain that I have looked and checked that there were no oncoming cars from both directions and it made perfect sense considering the fact that I was crossing two sides of the road to get to the other side.
Also, there was this turning lane for those coming out of the junction and Mr N, coincidentally was driving on the inner lane.
He probably did swayed towards my lane as well; as we have deduced in the after effect but that was beside the point.

We were both running a little late that morning; not our usual hour and while I didn't see him coming, he, coming from the straight direction didn't see me either.
It was interesting how things turned out, isn't it?
There were no other cars on the road, and while we were staying in the same neighborhood, we would probably have never met had it not been for the accident.

Furthermore, things could have gotten much worse, if I were ponder upon it.

It could have been a strong impact accident; inflicting injuries on both drivers
But it wasn't the case

It could have caused heavier damages to the car, But it didn't

I could have been hurt, but I wasn't

The other driver could have been a nasty and horrid man, But He wasn't

There are so many things that could have been worse, but no, they were not.

Therefore, why would I complain?
Why dwell on the negative, and over spilt milk?

Why not look at the positive side of things?

It all depends on the way we look at things, and there are always the unseen blessing with God's hidden message.

What I can see from this accident/mishap?

1. It brought me back closer to God (I am always strong to my faith, but sometimes life tends to get the better of me and there are times when I am like that lost sheep, wandering and lost in thoughts).
God loved me so much that He always hears me, and He answers my prayers, in a way that made me realize that it was his answer to my questions.
Thank you Lord.

2. It brought me back closer to my own family
 (I have let work taken over some of my life priorities, and in the process, neglected my loved ones, but this incident showed me that they have never neglected me. I love my family so much).

3. I could see the true love and the people who really cared about me.
(The few whom I have confided in besides my family, were genuinely concerned and showed me that there are so many out there who loved me).

4. There are always better ways to look at things; taking the positive and be thankful than blaming and focusing on the negative

5. Drive more carefully, even if it means annoying other drivers (if you took your time a little longer to check the coast is clear)
I was very certain I was in the clear that morning, but who am I to say anything now? I got involved in an accident, my credibility runs low =P

6. Life is fragile, and things can happen in a split second.
Even if we didn't see each other coming, there were still reasons and it just took place in less than a second and the impact could have been much worse.

7. Not everything/everyone is about pointing fingers.
It is always good to be humble and start off in a good tone.
Not everything/conflicts results in war or violence.
It is about the 90/10 rule - how we react or respond to the situation changes the way things could turn out.

8. Parents' Love is unconditional. No question about that.

9. I may have been a lost soul/sheep, one who has probably lost herself in the midst of work and the hectic urban jungle but now found herself again and would like to focus on life priorities, striking that balance, and choosing how to live :-)

10. Things could happen to anyone; and we are talking about that random probability.
Do not be complacent.

There are many more things that I could be thankful for, and I have learnt that silver linings do exist and that God is always there for me.

All we need to do is Listen, pause and Feel with our Heart.

We don't always have to react to everything that happens by cursing or lamenting our fate.

Fate always have its way of weaving things together, and there is no way in preventing it.
Things happen, and ponder upon it, there is always a reason for everything.

P.S. : Of course, just for the record, my driving skills is tested and certified. This is my first accident having been driving for so many years.
God really wanted to remind me to be careful and not be an arrogant driver.

Again, there would be no other way to find out...and as fate would have it....





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