I have seen a fair amount of religious places on my travels; from temples, churches, mosques, chapels and such, they are all just inspiring and memorable to fill my travelogue and I am definitely humbled by them.

Granted, I am also into spiritual places for they offer so much insight into the beliefs which have shaped the mindsets of their followers and how the teachings have contributed to the overall evolution of mankind, and the world.
There is that special place I hold in my heart for religious places; regardless of the religion or whether they share similar values with my own religious beliefs.
It doesn't really matter, for to me, all religions are similar as they focus on ultimately the good.
They are just different in their practices and perspectives, but generally, there is nothing bad about any religion; only the people who perceive or thwart the way it is taught.

These religious places are all unique in their own architectural and structural design, though there are some which are inspired by another or even share the similar styles commonly found and traced back to the traditional origins.

However, it is rare, or almost never, have I come across the exact same architecture or two temples or religious sites which are identical to each other, through my travels.

Except this particular one; where I have seen it once and this is my second encounter with the exact same temple.
In fact, I actually made it a point to include a visit to this temple on my itinerary when I visited Tokyo, on purpose.

Byodo-In has a special place in my heart.




Ever since the first time I set my foot in this temple a few years ago, I had always wanted to visit this other one in Japan.
Its original location in Kyoto.

Yes, while the temples are similar in their design though located in different locations (and countries), the one I first visited was in fact a smaller one because that was actually a Replica of this original temple, first erected here in the former capital of Japan.

Most people would probably visit the original then find themselves seeing the replica elsewhere, but me, it was the other way round.

I first saw Byodo-In, or rather, its replica, in a much smaller scale form when I was visiting Oahu (read about my visit here).

I fell in love with the temple almost immediately, for there is just a deep sense of tranquility surrounding the grounds of the temple.
Perhaps it is the whole aura of religious places, but I always find such unspoken peace whenever I visit any religious site (as I've mentioned, regardless of the religious denomination).

When I found out it was a replica of the original temple located all the way in Japan, I made a mental note instantly that I will make a visit to the original site when I am in Japan.

Fast forward to a few years later, here I am, standing before the magnificent and the original site of Byodo-In; situated in the serene city of Uji in Kyoto.

It is just as I have imagined it to be, and even greater, if I may say.

Well, I have, after all, seen it, though in a much smaller form before, but nothing beats the original.
I am sure you agree.

Besides, the replica in Oahu was only half the size of this; so if I was already in awe then, take that and double the factor.

It is no surprise that the beautiful Byodo-In is a National Treasure of Japan, along with a few named items located inside the temple; and including the famous Phoenix Hall (after which the replica was modeled after) and the great statue of Amida inside the Hall.

Byodo-In was also listed on the UNESCO World Heritage Sites in December 1994; and named as one of the Historic Monuments of Kyoto.



There is definitely more than what meets the eye in the striking beauty of this more than century-old temple; first erected in the 10th century, in 998 during the late Heian Period; jointly belonging to the Jodo-shu and Tendai-shu sects.

The Buddhist temple was formerly built as a villa for the Minister of Left, Minamoto no Shigenobu and thereafter converted into a temple in the 11th century, in 1052.

The temple grounds are huge but enjoyably walkable as one takes in the architectural design from its various angles.

Surrounded by a beautiful pond which creates a picturesque shot of the temple as its reflections fall onto the glistening and still jade green surface, the temple is distinguishably perfect from every angle.

While there are many buildings located on the grounds of the temple, the most famous and iconic building of them all; is the Phoenix Hall (鳳凰堂 Hōō-dō), also known as the Amida Hall, where an image of Amida Buddha is located.




It is this very structure inspiring the construction of the replica and it is also this very hall; complete with its iconic phoenix statues perched on the roofs (after which the hall is named) which the replica in the Valley of Temples in Oahu was remodeled after.

Needless to say, Phoenix Hall itself is declared a National Treasure of Japan.

The remaining buildings around the temple's compound; were mostly destroyed in a fire during a civil war in 1336.

The Phoenix Hall survived it all; remaining as the only original building belonging to Byodo-In, which is the reason for its status in the nation's treasury, with all its historical and cultural values.



In fact, the overall temple or particularly the Phoenix Hall is widely commemorated by the Japanese government as they made their way into the currency; with an image of the temple on the 10 yen coin and the phoenix being featured on the 10,000 yen note, and even making their appearances on postal stamps before.
It is a celebration, and a tribute to the survival and the long livelihood of the Hall.

Another eye-catching feature on the grounds of the temple is the Jodo-shiki garden, located right in front of the temple itself, with a pond.

You won't miss it, and it is also a designated National Historic Site and declared a Place of Scenic Beauty.

Well deserving every bit of the title, I say.

The temple was worth my time; even though I had to rush from the earlier Himeji Castle from a different region and then having to rush back to Kyoto city late in the evening.

I had limited time here, but I squeezed this visit into my itinerary, against all the odds, because it is mandatory.
I wanted to.
I simply MUST see the original temple.

It completes my wishlist since my visit to its replica, which was constructed in 1968.

Half the size and halfway around the world, several years later, it was worth every second.

No regrets.

Byodo-In, the Original and Replica - Checked.





















































Featured in this post:
Byodo-In Temple (the Original)
City of Uji, Kyoto Perfecture, Japan

Address:
Renge-116 Uji, Kyoto Perfecture 611-0021, Japan

Opening Hours: 
8.30am-5.30pm Daily (Last admission at 5.15pm)

Admission Fees: 
Adult: ¥600
For full information on the fees, please refer to the website here

It is not easy to find someone you can call your life partner (I prefer to leave the soulmate part to further debate).

Someone who could make you think of spending the rest of your lifetime with.
Someone who makes you change your mind about being single.
Someone whom you want to be with, all the time.

Perhaps marriage comes to mind, though not everyone would think that marriage is the only way to spend the rest of their life with that special person they would call life partner.
No judgment on that.
Everyone has their own opinion on what works best; especially when it comes to their own happiness and lifetime.

However, I will be focusing on marriage since that is the topic here and also because that is the path I personally took, though it doesn't mean this is not applicable to anyone who chose not to go into marriage.
It is just more on a perspective and personal sharing rather than claiming to be the truth.

When you are considering marriage with someone you love and who loves you equally, the whole relationship and the outlook will be taking on to a further level.
It will go beyond the movie dates and romantic dinners, or the hard to bid goodbyes at the door every evening after going out with each other.

It is about spending your lives with each other.
It is about staying under the same roof, sharing the same bed, bathroom, kitchen and pretty much even the same air you breathe in as you move into the same living space.
You will be seeing this person every single day; he/she will be the first person you see when you open your eyes in the morning and the last person you see before you close your eyes at night.

It is not just about wearing gorgeous white gowns and tuxedos, and having a grand wedding ceremony; nor is it about putting on the rings and signing that piece of paper to officiate the status as each other's spouse.

It is way, way beyond that.

Sure, it is always sweet at the start and also during the time of a relationship between two people and everything seems perfect under the stars.

That is when they are two different individuals.

But when it comes to spending your life with each other; that means forever (whether you get married or cohabit with each other).

That requires more than just thinking or deciding where to eat or what movie to watch every day.

Even a single person would know that, when they purchase and move into their own homes.
There are just many things one would have to look into to ensure that their living conditions are meeting their expectations.

Take that situation and double it; we are talking about two different people coming together.

There are many factors to consider when two people come together; as both are unique individuals who came from different backgrounds, families, education, religious beliefs and the list goes on.
In short, both are Different people.

Even identical twins are different from each other, let alone life partners.

When you choose to enter into marriage, you are making a decision to bridge that gap and be with each other; amidst the fact that you are two different people.

There are of course, things you will need to consider and even talk about, or rather work it out amicably between the two of you as you plan your future together.

We are talking about two lives coming together as one.

There is no exact guide or definite list on what you should talk about, though no doubt, there are also many articles out there talking about what you should discuss with your future spouse before marriage.

There is also no firm timeline or law on when this conversation should take place; though it is recommended that the couple should talk about them before marriage.
There are those who would only look into them after marriage.

That is fine too, it is up to one's preference.
Perhaps if you have attended a pre-marriage workshop (based on religious denomination requirements or simply by choice ), you would be told or even guided to talk about topics before marriage.

I was always discussing about a lot of things with my partner; even way before marriage and starting from the time we met at the start of our relationship.

Perhaps I am always one for communication; things just naturally fall into place as we could talk about almost everything under the sun.
I think that is very important; communication is key when it comes to relationships as we share our minds and exchange our opinions, rather than keeping mum and leaving it to guesswork.

To me, a relationship is not a relationship if there is no communication involved.

Therefore, the ease of our communication just took its own flow as we discussed about things and possibilities of the future; or the prospects of marriage, even at the early stage of the relationship.
Even if you are not sure if marriage will be the answer, the topics to discuss are still relevant and play an important role in the overall prospect of the relationship.

Here, a few topics to talk about with your partner or someone you would consider your life partner/spouse before you commit to a lifelong relationship; casually or formally:-

1. Finances



Like it or not, this is the most important one of all, for we live in a commercially driven world; not to mention an extremely materialistic one.
It is hard to avoid the topic of money when it comes to living, or even if anyone wants to just stay alive.
It is the same, everywhere or anywhere in the world.

Who will be paying for what?
How will the finances be organized?
Will there be shared accounts, or division of expenditures?
What should you spend on, or not?
What are the spending habits you both have, and can you accept that of each other?
What needs to be cut back on?

Surely, we live in a contemporary society where everything is about equality and the evolution of time has also given both genders opportunities in all areas; and there is no longer any discrimination when it comes to gender (sure, gender discrimination still exists in some way or another, but in general, women and men can now choose their career paths and women no longer are confined to their homes or being denied education)

As both are now capable of making their own dough and supporting themselves financially, coming together as a couple would also mean pooling those financial resources and unless you are planning to keep everything to yourself, there should be discussion on the combined resources.
Of course, even if you ARE planning to keep your own money to yourself and make your spouse take up all the support of the household financially, make sure that is conveyed to your partner and that you can both come to a mutual agreement on what works best.

Don't let money be the reason to hinder you from a loving relationship.

2. Commitments/Priorities

When you were on your own, you had your own time to yourself and your own aspirations definitely.
You can choose what to do with your life, how to spend your free time or even what to pursue personally.

When it comes to being a couple, that should be laid out on the table.
Share with your partner your aspirations, and what you really like or even dislike.
Lay out your own plans and look into how that could now come into the picture with the two of you.
Sure, nobody can stop you from pursuing your dreams or tell you what to do, and this is not about that.

This is about how you can both work around your personal life goals and how they will fit into your lives.
Share your sentiments on things that matter to you, and have your partner understand that.
At the same time, put yourself into your partner's shoes as you try to look into their priorities too.

Understand the difference and the shared values you both share, so you can both move in the same direction.
Keep in mind that you are both different individuals and there are bound to be differences.

3. Religious Beliefs


Whether you are a devout religious devotee or an Atheist, you have your own beliefs when it comes to your way of life.
Your religions could be rooted from your family background and your upbringing, or it could be your very own choice.

It matters because you need your partner to understand your stand when it comes to your own beliefs; and if you are willing to convert to another religion if your partner requests to.
(Some religions require you to convert if you want to enter into marriage with each other)

This may be a sensitive topic; so approach with care and consideration.
Be thoughtful towards each other, and understand where you are both coming from.

It is important because the very foundation of varying religious beliefs could tear you apart from each other if you cannot come to a compromise.

At the end of the day, it depends on how much you are willing to invest into the relationship and the depth of your love for your partner.
No one can force you to do something if you are not willing to, and once you have decided, make sure you have thought it through.
Don't bring it up as a sore point in the future whenever there is an argument.

You have a choice and you MADE that choice.


4. Logistics



You were probably staying far apart from each other, or you were probably neighbors before.
Whichever it is, or wherever you used to come from or call home, you are now going to be with each other and that means staying under the same roof.
Well practically, you are both going to be living in the same space.

Where would that be?

Will that be moving in with your or his parents?
Will you be getting your own place?
Will you be moving to somewhere else?

Discuss the options, talk about your preferences and what works best (bring up what doesn't as well).

The key is honesty - bare it all out because this is the place where you will be staying, well, pretty much, most part of your married life (depending on when or where you would move to next, but this is where you will begin your marriage)

5. Other Relationships

I am not telling you to share the number of previous relationships you have had before; although that would be a good start.
Whether you have had any other relationships before and who your former partners were, is something you can choose to or not to tell your future spouse.
Of course, it would be good if you could tell and talk about it, to avoid future misunderstandings but really, it is your choice.

Anyway, I am not just referring to your former relationships but also the other relationships you have in both your lives.

One of the most important is of course, both your families and extended families.
Then there is the co-worker or even close friendships you have with others; particularly if there is of opposite gender.
Depending on your spouse, it would be good to be frank from the start to give them the heads-up on what to expect from your relationship.

Sure, your relationship is about the both of you, but the world does not revolve around only the two of you.

You are both who you are today because of the people who brought you to the world and also the people you are around with, which shaped your perspectives and beliefs.

Make it a point to talk about these people; and let your partner know the roles they play and the importance of them in your life.

Like it or not, you can't ignore the fact that there will be strings attached; we all have these strings anyway.

You might want to worry if there is totally no one in their lives, and if this is the person you want to be with the rest of your life (if you are socially active) while they are living isolated lives.

No man is an island, and if they were, then you will be the new addition and that signals major change to your partner's life.


6. Family Planning



Granted, you may be looking into having children with your spouse following marriage, or even if not, you may be looking at having your own family; options include adoption.

Maybe you may not want children, or your partner wants more than one child.
These are topics you will have to talk about with each other.

The decision to have or not to have children should be entirely up to the two of you; don't let anyone force you into anything you are not willing to.

The next question is the upbringing and cultivation of your offsprings, if you have decided to have children.
This is an important thing to look into; maybe most would overlook and only consider after the children is born, but this is about bringing up a whole new and next generation.
It should very well be considered and discussed when you decide to bring them to the world.

What kind of values do you want to instill?
What are the differences in both your own family values in your upbringing?
Which religious belief (yours or your partner's) should your children adopt?
Can you agree on what's best?
What kind of education style are you looking at for your child?
Should you spare the rod or use the rod?
What are your shared values?

It is a long list of topics because we are talking about an important responsibility.
When it comes to parenting, everyone wants what's best for their children and that concept of what's best may and will differ for each and every one of us.

Then don't forget about the other people in both your lives; i.e: your parents and elders who will be chipping in with their opinions.

Sure, you don't want to be rude, and you can take the tips from them with courtesy and due respect to their experiences, but at the end of the day, make sure it is what you both want and that you yourselves, know what you want.


There are probably many more topics I could think of, or maybe you could too, though these are fundamentally, in my opinion, the most basic to go into discussion during your relationship and before marriage.

Then maybe there is that whole thing about wedding planning you will think of to discuss, but that is the ceremony where you will enter into the marriage and should not be considered the one to dominate your concept of ultimately what your ideal marriage should look like.

It is a beautiful thing to find someone whom you could love just as much or even more than yourself, to the point to think of spending the rest of your lives with each other.

Do not let all the trivial matters stand in your way, if you are sure of each other.

The wedding is of course, the very beginning as you pledge your love for each other, but remember, it is just one day (maybe a few days at the max).

A marriage is what lasts a lifetime.

That should be the ultimate focus.




Have a good conversation with your partner; not only before marriage but all the time.

A good relationship, not just marriage is all about communication.

So get talking!~

When I was a little girl, I had many dreams.

I had many things that I wanted to do and achieve in life, or rather, when I grow up.
I see myself doing great things, I see myself being someone who pursued and realized those dreams because I could see myself living that dream.

I never thought of the what-ifs.
I never thought of the possibility of the obstacles or even the possibility of my dream being an impossibility.
I was never even told that my dreams were absurd or that I shouldn't dream this and that.
My parents made me think that I could do anything or be anyone I wanted.
It was just that simple.

Now I am all grown up and this is something which is always on my mind ever since.

Where did all my dreams go?
Granted, I never forgotten them; they are always on my mind all these years, and the questions continue to haunt me, following me all the while.

Have I achieved my dreams?
If not, why not?

When did I stop pursuing those dreams?
What made me abandon my dreams?
But most of all, Why?



Perhaps I have achieved some of them, though I think it is not really the truth.
Maybe I have high expectations of myself since young, but deep down inside, I know my dreams are still there, waiting for me to continue the chase.

It is a thought that always plagues my mind, and it just keeps me awake.
I cannot stop wondering and even blaming myself, while being perplexed at that exact point when I stopped or momentarily left those dreams behind.
Have I forgotten what I wanted, or what I dreamt of?
How could I have forgotten?

The truth is, I have never really forgotten, and I am sure most of you never did too.

We know what we want, we know the things we dream of.
These are always in our mind.

The only thing is, we always kept it in a different part of our minds.

At the BACK of our minds.

Not in front.

When we were children, these dreams were right in front of our minds and we are always thinking about it.
We place FOCUS on these dreams because they were all we wanted.




We never let ourselves forget about them because they are always right in front of our eyes.
We wanted them and they are all we think about.

We could not wait to grow up, because we have these dreams.

They kept us going and maintained our high spirits, because of that HOPE we look forward to.

That we are heading towards our dreams.
That someday, we will achieve our dreams.
We believed in that someday.

When we were children.

Then, what happens when we grow up?

Why have we forgotten or abandon that thought?

Since when we have forgotten our dreams?

Ask any of us, and most will come back with replies like, 
"It is not that easy"
"You don't understand my situation"
"I have to focus on supporting my family"
"I have no time"
"I have no choice"
"I can't pursue my dreams because it is not practical"
"My dreams are not realistic"
"It is not as simple as I thought"

It is easy to come up with the many and long list of reasons we cannot and will not pursue our childhood dreams.

We all have our reasons and excuses to justify and let ourselves get away with why we left them behind.
We continue to tell everyone who asked, and hearing those reasons convinced us that it is in fact the case these dreams are no longer in pursuit.
We live in the justification we provided.
We believed in them.

Just the same way we used to believe in our dreams.

The way we once thought it was possible.

Maybe we can say that children do not know the world and all that is out there, which makes it easier to dream big.
They know no boundaries.
They dare to dream.

We know how the world works, that is why we know the many possibilities and possible challenges hindering us in pursuing our dreams.
We grow up and have seen the way the world works and we start telling ourselves that it is just not that simple, as it is.

But is it really that complicated?

Did we really believe in all that obstacles?
Did we just tell ourselves that?
Do the obstacles really exist?

Or we made them up and saw them ourselves?




They are obstacles WE ourselves created.

By seeing impossibilities and challenges, we are creating our own roadblocks to mar that dream and that very possibility.

Why is that we did not think of overcoming or even, to think of we can achieve our dreams?
Against ALL ODDS?

We only think of the WHAT, the WHY but how about the HOW?




A child knows no boundaries, and a child thinks whatever they can, because they don't think of WHAT could stop them from achieving, but they think they CAN achieve their dreams when they grow up.

Because children do not see obstacles.

It is not because children do not know the world.

Children only thinks of WHAT and HOW it would look like when the dreams are achieved; not WHY it will not be achieved.

Ask yourself, and think of how you perceive your dreams when you were a kid.
Ask yourself as a kid, why you did not pursue or achieve those dreams today?

Answer yourself, or even imagine how you would answer a child who asked you this question.

From the bottom of your own heart.
No lies or excuses.

Can you convince yourself; your own mind and soul?

Perhaps we have over complicated things.

It is time to take lessons from the children, and take a trip back to our childhood to bring those dreams back to mind.




Don't let the dreams go away, don't let the dreams be forgotten.

Don't bury those dreams, they don't deserve it.

It is time to Revive our dreams and reconcile; perhaps even with a refreshed perspective and restart or continue that pursuit?

Don't forget to DREAM, for dreams are what make us.

DREAM a little dream, DREAM BIG and Pursue that DREAM.

You won't regret it.